This information is written mainly for the post menopausal woman who raised her kids alone, or had a family and took care of everyone but themselves. Meno PAUSE ladies it also means to pause, slow down, take a break.
Step One: If you are not in your pajamas when you read this…stop and get into your PJ’s NOW!
Do not wash the breakfast dishes…you must leave them in the sink.
Step Two: No, I really mean it. You have to be comfortable. I will wait while you get into your PJ’s.
Step Three: Please…. Follow directions J
Step Four: Okay, are we comfy? The next few steps are very important. Assemble your favorite snacks, chips, popcorn, ice cream, chocolates (well of course who are we kidding) you can’t really relax without chocolate and your beverage of choice. Yes, it is okay to put a little something with a kick into your tea.
Step Five: Find a good vantage point to the TV, move the sofa if you have too. Or pull out the recliner. Make sure you have plenty of pillows and an afghan or throw. Your body temperature may drop after eating a pint/half gallon of ice cream.
Step Six: We are almost there. Have the remote handy. Now this will only work if you are in a supine or semi-supine position. Prop a pillow under your knees, have your snacks handy.
Step Seven: You must watch your favorite movie or trash TV, shows you never had time to watch while being a super mom. Oh, and make sure to have tissues handy if the show is a tear jerker.(I mean it, you are not to get up once you are down on the sofa)
Step Eight: Did I forget to tell you to turn off the phone and close the shades( so your nosy neighbor will think you are not home) Or who cares what she thinks just don’t answer the door or the phone..
Step Nine: You must lay in this position for at least half of the day(that’s why I had you get your snacks ready) Bathroom breaks are allowed but right back to the sofa lady and assume the position.
Step Ten: You may be on a sugar high so don’t get up to quickly, you may get dizzy, let your body sink into the sofa/chair feel your body relax from the mind numbing television and you may slowly drift into a deep and restful nap. Nap in the middle of the day…yep that is part of the therapy.
So, it is a little awkward at first to get the hang of doing nothing, think back when your kids were teenagers they did not have any trouble doing nothing. So, after a long day of doing nothing. Well it really is work to eat junk food and watch trash TV. Now you should take a long bath, pluck your chin hairs( oh, you don’t have any…right) moving on, give yourself a facial and get ready for bed. See how easy it can be. The whole day passed and your body had a chance to slow down. Now repeat this exercise once a week at least. Before you know it you will be able to stretch out on the sofa, with dirty dishes in the sink and a dirty kitchen floor. I promise your body and mind will thank you.
(I learned from experience)